itsanawfullybigadventure asked: bitch please! i'm flawless.
Once, long ago, in a distant land of magic and peace, lived a toad. His name was Mike, and he was lonely. Year after year, Mike watched, sometimes sadly, sometimes with resentment as his former fellow tadpoles married. He watched them met beautiful princesses and have disturbing half and half children. One would think this would inspire Mike to do the same. But at last, no. Mike was bitter, he felt cheated out of life. Why was Mike deprived of princesses and offspring? He regularly asked himself this question. One fine, dewey, spring morning it occurred to the angry old toad. He was rightfully single. He was too much of a toadstool for any princess. He looked down into the marsh, say his reflection, and whispered to himself in a voice to hushed, barely the gnats heard, “Bitch I am flawless!”
